Chapter 1

I'm so sorry! I didn't even post the first chapter, but hear me out. I spent an entire day writing, had so much caffeine that my hands shook, and I finished the ENTIRE fanfic! But then, I was about to publish it, but I was using a different app to write it and, as it turns out, IT DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY SAVE YOUR WORK!!! I closed the app for 2 minutes, and the entire thing was gone, except for what I wrote on Tumblr. I then switched to WattPad, and spent hours trying to remember everything I lost. Right now, I am playing catch up with my memory, and trying to get it all out on paper. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading it, knowing the struggle it took me to finally finish it. I will do my best to update again soon. Sorry again,

-Luna

It was the night after an intense game between the Jackyl's and the Foxes. The press had once again asked why Neil was dating Andrew, and he had responded with one of his joking answers. Andrew and Neil were laying in bed facing each other and staring into each other's eyes. Hey are both shirtless because neither of them own pajamas, and because of the obvious. They had been making out, as is their routine. Andrew had pulled away several seconds previous, and Neil was watching him with a confused look in his eyes. It was clear that Andrew wanted to say something, Neil just didn't know what. Finally, Andrew spoke.

"You can tell them."

"Tell who what?"

"The press. You can tell them why you are dating me."

"And what do you think are my reasons for dating you?"

"Well... because I stood between you and your past. And it is a natural reaction to want what keeps you safe. You don't actually care for me. You are just trying to survive. Even subconsciously." Andrew furrows his eyebrows as he speaks, as if it pains him to speak these words. Neil know that this is a rare occurrence so he tries to take it lightly.

"Okay, first? I actually did say that once. Second? My subconscious doesn't need to fight to survive anymore. I am safe already. Rike is dead. My father is dead. I don't need protection anymore. And third? You're wrong. I do care for you. I'm dating you because I... Well, umm." Neil goes silent, his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.

"You what?" Andrew asks, genuinely curious. He has no idea what is about to come out of his junkie's mouth.

"I... I l-love y-you." Neil stutters, and after seeing Andrew's stunned look, squeezes his eyes shut and starts rambling. "A lot. Or at least I think I do. I-I've never felt anything l-like this before. I'm n-not really sure, I just-"

He is interrupted by Andrew seizing the back of his neck and yanking him foreword for a fierce kiss. Most of their kisses are pretty fierce and full of passion, but this one is different. So many unspoken words are communicated through this kiss. Andrew's heartbeat against Neil's fingertips as he rests his hand on the blonde's neck screams 'I Love You' with every beat, Neil's heart screams it right back. There in no lust in this kiss, just pure, innocent, untainted love. Andrew pulls away first but says nothing, just rests his head against Neil's. But Neil can't stand the silence.

"Will you say it? Please? I need to hear you say it."

Neil know's he is begging, and Andrew most likely won't say anything, but he can't help but hope. He knows in his head that the kiss must mean what Andrew won't say, but his heart needs to hear it to believe it.

"I love you. I. Love. You." Andrew says. Surprising Neil and himself. He anunciantes every word, knowing that Neil needs it.

But as soon as he starts saying it, he can't stop.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the only thing grounding me to this world. Everytime I see your stupid face all I can think about is kissing you, and I've wanted to let you know for so long how I felt, but I just couldn't find the right time. Oh god, I was such a coward I was too afraid to tell you so I never said anything, and I was going to tell you so many times. When I first realized it was when you were kidnapped by your father's people. When I couldn't find you, I was just terrified. More than I was in every one of my old adoptive households, more than I was when drake happened, more than I was when Proust, well... did what he did. I'm so so sorry I didn't tell you before. Please for-"

Andrew cut himself off. He took a moment and realized that tears were staining his face, and his bed. Immediately he jumped up from his spot on the bed and was out the bedroom door before Neil could stop him. This was a big mistake.

See, The Foxes were in a house they were borrowing from a young couple that were friends of Abby's. The dorms were being remodeled, so they had to move. Wymack's apartments were way too small, and Nicky's house in Colombia was too far away from the court. Kevin wouldn't stand for it. Even though it was spring break, none of they Foxes had decided to travel, so naturally, Kevin and Dan were making them practice. The couple were familiar with the Foxes madness, and were off on vacation, so they told Abby that as long as they paid for everything they broke, the Foxes could stay as long as they wished.

Anyways, the rooms were in a very strange configuration, in a long line, so if you wanted to exit the house, you had to walk through every other room to get to the front door, or even the bathroom at night. Andrew and Neil's room was the second one in line, so Andrew didn't think the other Foxes would see him. Boy was he wrong.

All the Foxes just happened to be in the next room over, completely and totally wasted of course, celebrating their victory. Neil and Andrew had bailed early because the Jackal's new Back-liners were tough, and ran Neil into the ground.

As Andrew yanked to door open all the Foxes silenced their raucous laughter immediately, and turned to gape at Andrew, abundantly dumbstruck. In his Moment of shock, Neil came up behind him and softly said,"Andrew..."

The hand that was placed on his shoulder brought him back to his senses."No!" He hoarsely exclaimed through gritted teeth. He was trying not to let any more tears spill over in front of the Foxes, who were still frozen in place in a stunned silence.

He had to get out of here, before they snapped out of their daze and started asking dumb questions like 'What happened?'.

So in four angry strides he crossed the room and started running out. Out of the room, out of the house, and away from not only his emotions, but also the boy he loves. Neil calles out and chases after him, but Andrew is desperate, and in his desperation, can run faster than even Neil.

Andrew was almost free, almost out, reaching for the door when... it opened to reveal Wymack and Abby's stunned faces. When the two realized what was going on, Wymack dropped the two pizzas he was holding, and Abby just murmured "Andrew?". They were both concerned, but Andrew didn't want their help. He didn't need anyone to care for him, he was fine on his own. He survived 17 years on his own, and during that time had suffered every kind of abuse imaginable. All that time without a friend in the world, no one to love, and no one who loved him. He was fine. He had always been fine. Always knowing about the pain, but never caring. He's fine. He didn't need anyone. Fine.

Damn, Neil was rubbing off on him.

Still dumbstruck, but recovering faster than the Foxes had, Abby took a step foreword, as if to embrace him. But before she could, Andrew stifled his sobs, and shouldered past her. He then bolted down the sidewalk, not knowing or caring where he was going. He ran and ran and ran away from his problems, trying to force himself to be emotionless again.

Dear reader! Good job, you survived my awful writing. Just remember, if you don't want to suffer more, please comment and help me improve! Any fanfic ideas are welcome too, I'm always trying to write more. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

-Luna